Baby jokes

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Little Johnny 's next door neighbors had a baby.
Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears.

When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny's family to come over and see their new baby. Little Johnny's parents were very afraid that their son would have a wise crack to say about the baby so the dad had a long talk with little Johnny before going to the neighbors.

He said "Now, son... that poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears or I am really going to spank you when we get back home."

"I promise not to mention his ears at all" said Little Johnny.

At the neighbors home, Little Johnny leaned over in the crib and touched the baby's hand He looked at it's mother and said "Oh What a Beautiful little baby". The mother said "Thank you very much, Little Johnny."

He then said, "this baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet. Why... just look at his pretty little eyes.... Did his doctor say that he can see good?"

The Mother said "why, yes Johnny... his doctor said he has 20/20 vision.

Little Johnny said "well, its a darn good thing, cause he sure couldn't wear glasses!!!

Rating: 3.2 |

Why do we dress baby girls in pink and baby boys in blue?
Because they can't dress themselves.

Rating: 4.0 |

I got a letter from my sister. She just had a baby. But she didn't say whether it's a boy or girl.
So I don't know if I'm an uncle or an aunt.

Rating: 2.4 |

Why does a mother carry her baby?
The baby can't carry the mother.

Rating: 2.2 |

How does a baby ghost cry?
"Boo-hoo! Boo-hoo!"

Rating: 3.0 |

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