Baby jokes
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Why are babies always gurgling with joy?
Because it's a nappy time.
Mrs Brown: Who was that at the door?
Veronica: A lady with a baby in a buggy.
Mrs Brown: Tell her to push off. "
I see the baby's nose is running again," said a worried father.
"For goodness sake!" snapped his wife. "Can't you think of anything other than horse racing?"
A distraught mum rushed into the back yard, where eight-year-old Tommy was banging on the bottom of an old upturned tin bath with a poker.
"What do you think you're doing?" she demanded.
"I'm just entertaining the baby," explained Tommy.
"Where is the baby?" asked his Mum.
"Under the bath."
How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rock-et.
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